Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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