Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
