why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
