i just wanna soil my oats bro
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
