i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
