he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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