My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
