the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
