he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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