I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
