Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
