The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
porn star boner night. come get it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
