brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
