i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
