The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
