YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize