Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
