No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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