Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
