so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
