ugly people sure do ruin things
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
