so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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