i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize