I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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