I bet he comes in French.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have already put on my inside pants.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
