Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i need some magic done to my vagina
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
