my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
