don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
