Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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