two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
