I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
