Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
