one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize