using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize