**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
