Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
