I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I would fuck him just for his dog
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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