um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
where am i from again
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
