Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
