Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
