It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
