i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
