So drunk its hurt
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
