I will die if light touches me.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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