Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
