Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
