So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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