So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
