we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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