When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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