In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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