3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
