I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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