they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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