So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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