you guys were way drunker than both of me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
