Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize