By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
