Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
