You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
