So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Randomize
